So, what do guys think about dating single mom? The short answer is, “that depends a lot on the guy.”
If he’s the wrong guy for you, he may believe in and buy into the stereotypes that abound in some dating demographics:
• You have an (undesirable or unsexy) “mom bod”
• You are constantly dealing with drama from your ex or baby-daddy
• A child (or children) are a hassle
• You’re broke
• You’re needy and desperate to find a man for sex
• You’re needy and desperate to find a man to be a father to your child (children)
Guys who believe these generalities are definitely not the right guys for a single mom to consider dating. For a variety of reasons, there are single moms who also buy into the stereotypes and are reluctant to meet – and date – men who are their educational, intellectual and social equals.
• These men will be threatened by your success
• A younger or immature man doesn’t know what it’s like to have his own family or is not ready to settle down
• This guy is in a different stage in his life than you and isn’t necessarily open to experiencing and understanding your situation.
What do guys think about dating a single mom? The smart, successful, mature, hip guys think: Single moms who take responsibility for their families, who are caring, loving parents, and successful in their lives are attractive, desirable and very dateable!
• Single moms have their act together
• Single moms know true love and experienced an emotional connection that childless women have not
• A single mom is patient and open-minded. She values loyalty and trustworthiness.
• A single mom knows good relationships require compromise and mutual respect.
• She wants to better herself and others around her.
• She has meaning and purpose in her life.
These are all qualities great guys are looking for. Emotionally healthy, mature and successful men aren’t interested in women who party too much, stay out late every night, have no self-discipline and indulge in constant drama. They are attracted to strong, stable women.
Despite all of this, many single moms struggle with self-confidence when it comes to dating and romance. One way to tackle this challenge is to think about the qualities you find attractive in a man. What kind of man do you desire?
Once you’ve got that image in mind, look at yourself through your ideal man’s eyes. If you want a man who is strong, loving and successful, see those same traits in yourself. Accept and embrace your single motherhood – be proud of it!
Understand and know deep in your heart that you have all the character traits to attract quality men. You will find the one, and be able to build a lasting, loving relationship in part because of all the great qualities you possess as a successful single mom.
Successful, healthy men are hard-wired to seek high-value women – winning a woman of quality reflects well on him and is a measure of his own value and his self-esteem.
When you see yourself and know yourself to be a quality woman you raise your value and desirability.
Remember these basics to help you attract and build a relationship with a successful man:
• Confidence attracts confidence
• Be proud of your success and be comfortable speaking about and sharing it
• Successful men don’t desire needy women – they are not looking for someone to rescue
• You aren’t perfect, but you have your act together: you have a career, are a caring and present parent, and have a social life
• Men with great lives want to share their lives with women who also have great lives
How the Mating Cycle Works
Biology may not be destiny, but the mating dance between human men and women can be as intricate as that of other animals, and it’s just as ingrained in our DNA. Want to find out what guys think about dating a single mom (you!)? Or what any guy you’re attracted to is going to bring to your potential relationship? Follow these steps when you begin dating:
- Focus on the right guys
That may be a single dad, or a man who has dated single moms before. Maturity (not necessarily age) and an open mind are the right place to start.
- Let him take care of you
No, that doesn’t mean you should act needy, desperate or helpless. But in the mating dance, it’s a man’s nature to want to please you and win you. He wants to show you he cares for you. He sees it as his responsibility to satisfy you. If you immediately focus on how to please him, you’re disrupting the natural flow.
- What EVERY woman (single mom or not) needs to know
When you reverse the natural order of things by going out of your way to please him, adapt to his preferences, and do all the heavy lifting you send the message that you need validation (you are needy). And, you are actually shifting his focus to his needs instead of yours. Don’t go there!
- Show affection and appreciation when he satisfies you
This reinforces his behavior and he’ll want to continue to be with you, help you and love you.
- Don’t repeatedly call or text
It’s not your job! It sends the wrong message (no matter what you say or write). That message is, “I am insecure. I can’t take care of myself.” And it turns men off.
When you walk the walk and talk the talk of a confident woman who is allowing a quality man into her life, and him to take care of you, you feel strong and secure. He feels confident, strong and secure too, and his devotion to you will grow.
What do guys think about dating a single mom? The right guy knows that she is a “regular” woman and a whole person, not just a mom. The right guy also knows not to assume that she has no free time or that her entire existence revolves around her kid(s).
The right guy knows to ask for a date in advance, within a reasonable time period. If it’s last-minute, she may have to struggle to find a sitter and that’s not nice or fun. The right guy knows that if you ask about her kids, you are not coming off creepy or weird. It shows that he’s interested in you as a whole person – including your motherhood. It’s all in the timing – too soon can feel like he’s rushing things (or is actually a creep!) But showing some appropriate interest as he gets to know you better is natural and a positive development.
The right guy doesn’t assume she is broke, desperate for sex or seeking a new father for her child(ren).
The right guy knows he’s not being interviewed as a potential parent. He is being interviewed (if you will) for his potential as a romantic partner. As things evolve in the relationship, being part of a family with children could be a factor. But not on the first few dates!
The right guy isn’t afraid to say, “I’ve never dated a single mom before,” (if he hasn’t). With an open mind and an open heart, he’s willing to learn. And if you’re a single mom back for the first time to the dating scene, with an open mind and an open heart, you are willing to learn too.
Relationship coaching, either combined with Tarot or not, can help you focus on yourself in a positive way and give you guidance for growth. You’ll be supported in developing your own standards, setting boundaries and building a healthy relationship. I can help you take practical steps for learning how to find a great partner and create the relationship of your dreams.